Setting Boundaries When You Were Taught to Be “Nice”

Hey there,

If you grew up hearing that it’s important to be polite, easygoing, or agreeable, then it might feel hard to say no. Maybe you worry about disappointing people, or you go along with things even when it doesn’t feel right. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Many of us were taught that being “nice” was the most important thing. That kindness meant keeping the peace, avoiding conflict, and always putting others first. And while there’s nothing wrong with being kind, that message can make it really hard to set healthy boundaries as an adult.

Let’s talk about why that is, what it can cost you, and how to begin setting boundaries in ways that feel honest, grounded, and doable.